Bears. (Heart)Beats. Battle Star Galactica.

There was no Battle Star Galactica involved in this story, but the rest of the title remains true. Yesterday, April 28th, I had my anatomy scan. Travis was not allowed to come into the building with me as expected. The anatomy scan is not done at the hospital with my normal doctors, but instead is done off base at an ultrasound place. They also did my 12 week ultrasound as well as our gender test. I went in and had to have blood drawn first. I sat down and the guy asked me which arm I preferred. I really didn't have a preference at this point and let him know he could take a look and decide since one arm had just had a blood draw 3 days earlier and the other arm had just had a blown blood vessel. Both are still bruised and my right arm is still stiff, not to mention I now have a scar from the IV. He asked me if this was my first pregnancy and once I said yes he followed with questions about how excited I am. I knew he didn't know what was going on, but I started to cry a little and just said yes, but at this point I am more worried than anything due to complications. He finished the blood draw and had me sit in the waiting room for the ultrasound tech.

About five minutes later, she came out to get me. I laid down and let her know that there wouldn't be any fluid and to please not press hard as this can cause problems. She put the ultrasound machine on my stomach and began to ask questions. I had to tell her everything that happened and she was shocked. She didn't understand why the hospital hadn't done the ultrasound and why they made me go to that appointment. She was not informed of anything that was going on and immediately stopped the scan to call her supervisor and the hospital to get information. I was left alone in the dark room with warm goo on my belly, crying. She came back in and apologized for having to leave and for not having been informed on the situation.

She began the scan and did it so gently. Her assistant kept me distracted pretty well and got me to stop crying by asking about food in Louisiana, thanks to my #LafayetteStrong shirt. I saw his heart beating, and he was still moving. She scanned his stomach and he still had fluid inside of it, so she said he is still getting amniotic fluid. She got almost all of the measurements that she needed, except for his feet. It was impossible to see them with a contrast, but you could still see them moving. I tried my best to memorize what his heart looked like so I could look up normal hearts at 20 weeks when I got home, but it was harder than I thought. She also was able to get some side profile pictures of him to be printed for me. I got to listen to his heart beat and they recorded it to be put in a little bear, which has not left my side since.

We went home after the appointment, and everything was more or less "normal." The fluid seemed to increase in a slightly pink color, which makes me worried that I am going to start bleeding again after 3 days of no blood. I'm not sleeping well, no longer because of pain besides my hips hurting every once in a while, but because of the nightmares. They are so real and intense. They are either just a recount of the last few weeks, or they are about things I fear will happen. I've honestly had dreams like this since getting pregnant, and it makes me wonder if my body always knew something was wrong.

We still haven't heard from the doctors in Anchorage, and I believe they are the ones who have to give me the results of the ultrasound. Our next goals are to have nothing wrong with Declan, and then get into the hospital Friday for antibiotics. From there, everything is pretty up in the air. I am hoping the doctors in Anchorage decide to transfer me around 22 weeks instead of 24 weeks, but I'm not holding my breath.