Sleep is for the WEEK

Last night I was finally able to get some real sleep. I didn't wake up crying or in a panic, and there was very little fluid or blood leaking. The day was generally good with the continued slowing of fluid and blood. Around 5pm however, it started up again. It's still not quite as much as Monday, but anything coming out makes me upset and panicked. My mom was accepted onto a facebook page for people who have gone through this/are going through this, and they posted that bleeding like this was normal and it happened the entire time they continued to be pregnant. Hopefully my baby makes it just as theirs did. They also had a list of medicine to take to help with everything. Travis made a run today to get all the supplies which included about 10 different pills. He did get me a cookie though, so I guess that was the highlight of the trip.

I am hoping everything continues to be okay enough. We did call labor and delivery when the bleeding started up again, and they said it was normal and not to come back into the hospital. Tomorrow makes one week since my water broke. Each week, the chances of him staying inside to a viable age increases. I think I can still feel him moving, so I am hoping he is still alive and fighting. It's very hard to tell what the movements are now, though. Friday I have my appointment and we will find out if he is still doing okay in there. I will also be 19 weeks, then. I am hoping that the next few weeks go by as fast as this one did and they go by SMOOTHLY. I just need to make it a few more weeks before they can send us off and hopefully save him. I try to stay positive, but it is so hard. I feel like it is much easier for every one else to just tell me to stay positive, but they don't feel the things I feel physically. It's much harder when you're the one who might be losing the life inside you.

I am trying to use every day as a goal. I can't set them to far ahead because for two steps forward, there is one step back. It feels like I am never going to make it to the end, but clearly there will be an end one way or another. I might just not like the ending. All I can do is take my new vitamins, stay hydrated, and move as little as possible. I'm going to sleep tonight hoping for no more complications so that we can make it to our one week mark.